I thought my experience in the kids room might have been an outlier, but after leaving the church, I had a chance to speak to other former members about their own experiences.

And what I heard was sadly consistent.

It was the norm for kids room “teachers” to pinch children hard enough to make them cry or force them to stand up if they fell asleep during service. To force-feed even babies the Passover bread and wine. To shut kids in closets if they misbehaved.

Many of the extreme cases of punishment were not done in front of the parents, and children were hushed and warned not to say anything.

There was one story about a little girl who vomited out the Passover bread and was forced to eat it again out of her vomit.

Another story about a boy who was forced to do militaristic exercises at a deacon’s house until 3 a.m. if he acted out of line.

Parents were rebuked for visiting their own children, even infants, in the kids room.

These are god’s children, they’d be told. Not your children. Don’t let them become your idols.