At one point before going to the house church, I got pregnant.

Thomas and I went to consult with the church leaders. They didn’t tell me directly not to have the baby, but they strongly implied that I wouldn’t be able to continue doing my missions if I did.

You’ll have to hide it, they told me. But of course there will come a time when you won’t be able to hide it. Decide depending on your priorities.

Of course I was supposed to prioritize God.

The next day, Thomas told me that the deaconess had said in front of him, If it were me I would punch my stomach until it died.

It seemed clear she had wanted that to get back to me.

So I got an abortion. The anesthesia didn’t seem to work well and it hurt like hell. I screamed and screamed even after it was over.

As soon as I left the clinic, instead of going home to rest as advised I went to the church to help cook dinner.

The deaconess pulled me aside and told me with a smile, You will be blessed for your sacrifice.