My daughter would often cry during services. I would take her out because she was disrupting the service and try to soothe her, but nothing seemed to work.

Sometimes, other women would take her from me and she would calm down.

Stories were told in the church about demons controlling children. Because they’re so young, people would say, the spiritual world is very real for them.

But my daughter was so calm and content around everyone except me. It wasn’t her I thought was demon-possessed.

I had intrusive thoughts that my daughter could sense the demons in me, and that’s why she cried only when I held her.

I wasn’t godly enough to make her feel comfortable like the other women. The curse still hadn’t lifted from me, no matter how hard I worked or what I gave up.

I didn’t know what else to do.

Maybe it was because my sins in the past were so bad that I was irredeemable, I thought.

Or maybe I was being punished for the insolence of having a child.