I was chronically broke during my time at the WMSCOG.

Soon after moving to New Jersey, after Thomas and I were kicked out of the house church and before I had a child, the Feasts of God were upon us.

The Feasts meant a lot of spending—offerings for each service, different suits for the multiple feast days, in addition to the tithes and offerings for the Sabbath.

We had just gotten new jobs and moved into an apartment—one month’s rent plus security deposit. My commute to work in New York City also cost extra.

For one of the feast days—I think it was Pentecost—each team was supposed to prepare their own lunch, and each team member was expected to give a monetary contribution.

I was totally broke and didn’t even have enough for the normal feast offerings, let alone this food contribution.

In my desperation to get some money, I lugged a bulging bag full of heavy books into the city to sell after work. I didn’t take the subway to save money, and walking around for what felt like hours with the bag was exhausting.

I only made a few dollars of profit, and it was only enough for the feast offerings, not the food contribution.

That feast day, I didn’t eat anything due to my feeling of extreme shame for not having contributed.

---

It isn’t unusual for members to prioritize church offerings and contributions over their own basic needs like food, shelter, and paying off bills. The leaders are aware of it and promote it too, teaching that when you give money to God you get it back tenfold and all your needs will be taken care of.

The head pastor himself told me that members regularly default on rent so it’s not like the leaders don’t know about members’ financial struggles. I am not the only one who has hit rock bottom and had literally no money. Yet, they fail to respect and acknowledge people’s situations and struggles and continue to shame those who don’t contribute.