61. something like peace


Thomas and I had always had bad fights after getting married, but things changed after I had my daughter.

I had no energy to fight with him anymore. Instead, I just didn’t talk to him.

I no longer tried to express my deep feelings to him, like my worries about being cursed or my inner conflict about being a good parent.

We started to grow distant, each busy with our respective missions, only communicating when it concerned logistical plans about our daughter.

I had no interest in intimacy with him either. I felt guilty about that, because of the church’s teaching: You’re not supposed to deny your husband sex, or you’ll make him sin.

But I continued to make excuses anyway—yet another tally mark for my count of hidden sins.


I’m getting a little personal here because the church did affect things at home, and church teachings extended to regulating our private lives.

Were you taught that it’s biblically wrong for a wife to withhold sex from her husband?