I took a trip to Korea in 2015 to meet Zhang Gil-Jah, the church’s proclaimed spiritual mother. I was so excited to meet God in the flesh.
When we got off the plane, Korean church members greeted everyone with cheers and a bouquet of fake flowers. When it was my turn, no one cheered because they thought I was Korean.
Upon arriving at the Jerusalem Temple, we had a brief chance to see “Mother.”
I cried, thinking about how the tree of life, which was supposed to be blocked for sinners, had now come to be among us. Thinking about how little I deserved such an honor.
When it was my turn to meet “Mother,” she spoke to me in Korean. The missionary who was helping us laughed and apologized: She thought you were Korean. She said she missed you.
A little part of me was hurt, thinking, if she really missed me wouldn’t she know I’m not Korean? But I brushed it off, grateful to have a chance to meet God.
We were supposed to accept it if she made mistakes due to her humanity.
Nonetheless, I was bothered by the teaching that those willing to see miracles would see miracles, while the demons in disguise (like Judas Iscariot) would not.
I was ready for miracles but all I got were misunderstandings. Did that mean I was a demon after all?
Background context: The WMSCOG teaches that the tree of life in the Garden of Eden represents the Passover, and that the reality of the Passover is God coming in the flesh to forgive sinners’ sins.
God blocked the tree of life with cherubim angels in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate the fruit, and the WMSCOG teaches that Ahn and Zhang’s coming to earth means the unblocking of the tree of life so that sinners can freely eat from it by keeping the Passover. That’s what I was thinking about when I met Zhang.
There were other little things that happened on this trip. On what might have been the second day, we had a meal with Zhang. My heart was pounding harder than I had ever felt it, and I saw that as a sign that she was truly God. She gave us gifts, which included a handkerchief for everyone. I didn’t like the pattern and color of mine, and thought that she must have known my taste and was testing my faith by intentionally giving me something I didn’t like.
In one photo, I sat next to her then at the end, touched her arm and started to ask her something. The Korean members who were “guarding” her pulled me away, and I felt like scum. I think she did answer, but my brain wiped the memory. I remember feeling rebuked.