Fragrance of Zion refers to the WMSCOG custom of getting up in front of the whole congregation to share a spiritual story or realization.

When I was new, I loved giving fragrances.

I liked to point out allegories, intentional or unintentional, and took some pride in being able to spin a spiritual meaning out of anything. Plus, anything a new person said was generally met with encouragement.

As an older member, I started to realize that the fragrance of Zion was a way for leaders to police members’ thoughts.

Members would get up and share their thoughts, and leaders would pass judgment on those thoughts to serve as an example for the rest of the congregation.

The head pastor would regularly rebuke members for giving unworthy fragrances that revealed their flaws—selfishness, spiritual blindness, arrogance. He called it the “smell of death” instead of the fragrance of Zion.

There were certain expectations for the format and content of good fragrances, and anything that didn’t conform was beaten down.

Internalizing the rebukes, I applied a heavy filter to my thoughts. Nothing seemed worthy of sharing in fragrance anymore.

I felt like a grave sinner with a shriveled up spirit, and speaking aloud in front of everyone would surely do nothing but reveal it and subject me to public humiliation.