As mentioned in the previous post, the WMSCOG compares newly baptized members to babies, and continues to infantilize members throughout their church life. This is a dynamic common in relationships with narcissistic abusers.1The Infantilization Tactic: Parent-Adult Child Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse Cues, Better Being Main Line, https://betterbeingmainline.com/the-infantilization-tactic-parent-adult-child-codependency-and-narcissistic-abuse-cues/ (Accessed Nov. 9, 2023).
While infantilization is often seen between parents and their adult children, it can also happen in other types of relationships, such as between church leaders and church members. Below are signs of infantilization and how they manifest in the WMSCOG.
1. Expressing disapproval, criticism, or negative judgment—a very common practice within the WMSCOG, often in the form of public rebuking. Doing so sends the message to the infantilized person that their own instincts, thoughts, and decisions are invalid or not to be trusted.2The Causes And Symptoms Of Infantilization, BetterHelp, https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/the-causes-and-symptoms-of-infantilization/ (Accessed Nov. 9, 2023).
2. Interference. This happens when the abuser takes matters into their own hands regarding the life of the person being infantilized.3BetterHelp, supra. In the WMSCOG, this manifests as the church making important life decisions on behalf of the member, such as whether or not to have an abortion or whom to marry.
3. Treating the person being infantilized like a literal child. In the WMSCOG, all members are treated like children, especially those who are newly baptized. This can be (and is, in the WMSCOG) combined with other tactics such as love bombing and hoovering to perpetuate a codependent relationship.4Better Being Main Line, supra; Narcissistic Hoovering: Signs & How To Respond, Simply Psychology, https://www.simplypsychology.org/narcissistic-hoovering-signs-how-to-respond.html (Accessed Nov. 9, 2023).
4. Delegating and decision making. When people are infantilized, they are treated as if they have no ability to make their own decisions. The WMSCOG directs every detail of members’ lives, expecting members to ask for permission and guidance in anything and everything, including whether it’s okay to visit family or how to respond to a text message.
In the notebook I used when I went to Korea, my notes revealed that my mindset was that of a child giddy to see their mother—or what I thought that should be like, anyway, because I was never that type of child to my real parents.
Those notes are a record of my mental atrophy in the cult. I remembered having critical thoughts, but none of them made it onto paper—I meticulously pushed any negative, imperfect thought out of my head and embraced the role of a young, inadequate child.
An excerpt from my notes:
