Hello! I’m Luca, a former WMSCOG member, and this website is the home for never again, my story about spending a decade in the World Mission Society Church of God with untreated mental illness.
Each chapter contains a written narrative and an audio file that you can also listen to if you prefer. Click here for a full listing of chapters. You can also listen through the entire story in chronological order using this site’s audio player or on Spotify.
This story is incomplete and continuously updating. If you want to be in the loop, follow me on Instagram to read the stories as soon as they post.
Don’t know where to start? How about at the beginning:
chapter one: the hook
Never again will I let my freedom be stolen from me.
Never again will I betray my values.
Never again will I lose my sense of self.
latest chapters
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82. micromanager
Ever since we started dating, Thomas exerted a lot of control over my behavior. If I looked at or talked to a brother, even if it was for a mission under instructions from the church leader, he would become furious, claiming that we were flirting.
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81. temporary escape
I’ve already mentioned in one of these stories the time I was on the verge of running away. I stopped in a Walmart parking lot near my house and had a panic attack, thinking about how plagues would strike those who didn’t keep the Feast of Tabernacles.
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80. disconnected
I felt so disconnected from everyone at Big Shine. To me, they all looked so happy, beautiful, and perfect. I was depressed, so I perceived myself as ugly, sad, and pathetic.
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79. unwilling to serve
Trigger Warning: This anecdote contains explicit content, including mention of non-consensual sex. If this is triggering to you, please skip this one.
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78. violin fixation
All of a sudden, at one point, I began to practice my long-neglected violin. I would start when I came home at night and practice for hours until 2 or 3 am.