So, technically that’s my story, from joining the cult to leaving it. Of course, there’s much more to it. Leaving a cult isn’t an immediate cure-all, it’s just the beginning of the journey to heal and rebuild one’s identity. But the chronological unfolding of events is for the most part finished.

Before leaving the cult, what worried me the most was the thought of ruining my “perfect” family. My parents had bought a townhouse in New Windsor that we were renting out. It was a nice house and the three of us—Thomas, my daughter, and I—were supposed to be happy in it.

In my last few months at the church, I started cutting my hair.

Besides playing the violin, I had another mental escape: I started to read and write fanfiction about a TV show.

When I got back to New York, I was removed from all my former activities (graphics team and Big Shine) and placed in the “moms’ group” to focus on my faith by preaching and studying.